Paradigm Shift

Okay, I think I'm going through a paradigm shift. When you have small children at home (or when you teach high school), you don't have the luxury of time to think about the deeper philosophical underpinnings of your life. So many hours of your day are spoken for. But fortunately, or unfortunately, when you are self employed and alone most of the time, you do have time to think about the essence of your life. I've been thinking a lot about this young lady in the photo, trying to remember what it was she had planned for her life and what she felt she could accomplish.

So I'm rethinking what I do in life and even who I am. This is downright scary but I think it's also a necessary part of a well-lived life. Part of my problem is that three of my most important roles in life are on long distance mode--mother, daughter, grandmother. This is hard. I wish it were otherwise. What I am left with is a lot of time and the choices on how to use this time.

I am hoping for a bright, sparkling new me to emerge any day now. And I'm just enough of an optimist to believe this is possible. We can change our direction in life. But for now, the growing pains are excruciating.